Keep Your Hands To Yourself
by Neo Draco
Summary: A silly little one-shot I did the other day.  After years of promises of marriage, Michiru decides to give Haruka a little prod in the back.


Keep Your Hands To Yourself

by

Neo Draco

based on the song of the same title by:

The Georgia Satellites

l-l-l-l

"Haruka, I swear to the Kami, I have had enough." Michiru announced one fine afternoon.

"Michi, What's wrong? What did I do wrong now?"

"It's not what you did wrong, it's what you haven't done at all."

"Which would be...?"

"You've been saying for years that you're going to marry me."

"And I will."

"That's what you keep saying. But, I'm getting impatient. So, until you decide to marry me," she clapped both hands over her crotch, "no more."

_"What?"_

_I gotta little change in my pocket going jinga-linga-ling._

_Wanna call you on the telephone, wanna give you a ring_

_But every time that we talk, it's just the same old thing._

_Always, no huggy, no kissy, until I get a wedding ring._

_My honey, my baby, don't put my love on no shelf._

_She said, don't give me no lines and keep your hands to yourself_

"In the meantime," she continued, "I think I'll go wash my car. It's a nice day for it, don't you think?"

She disappeared upstairs and reappeared a few moments later in a bikini.

"You're evil. An evil, conniving woman, Kai'oh Michiru."

"You know what I want, Haruka," she sang as she headed out the door, "All you have to do is give it to me. Then I'll give it all to you." She winked and Haruka twitched.

Haruka raced outside to see Michiru _slowly_ buffing the hood of her car with a soapy sponge, pressing her barely clad chest against the metal, "Michi, why must you torture me? What did I do to deserve this?" she cried.

"You're dragging your feet in giving me a wedding. Don't consider this punishment, Ruka. It's not like I'm beating you or anything. Think of this as a prod in the back. Or the carrot on a stick."

"I'd rather have the beating." Haruka muttered. Big mistake! The vision of a leather-clad Michiru with a whip nearly dropped her.

"Remember, Ruka. There's no such thing as free milk. If you want it, you're going to have to work for it." She picked up the hose, "And speaking of work, all this hard work has gotten me all hot and sweaty. I need to cool down." and she sprayed herself with the hose.

Haruka fell to the ground, moaning.

_Baby, baby, baby. Why you gonna treat me this way?_

_You know I'm still your loverboy, I still feel the same way._

_That's when she told me a story 'bout free milk and a cow._

_She said no huggy, no kissy, until I get a wedding vow._

_My honey, my baby, don't put my love on no shelf._

_She said, don't give me no lines and keep your hands to yourself._

Haruka had been short with everybody all day. Practically flinging poor Hotaru out the door with orders to "Go play somewhere" and not return until "later."

Michiru simply lounged by the pool, working on her tan. She was laying on her stomach with her top undone when Haruka wandered by. She reached over, intending on giving Michiru's left butt cheek a tiny pinch.

"Don't even think about it." Michiru muttered, "You keep your hands to yourself."

Haruka continued to reach for the tempting piece of anatomy, "Haruka," Michiru warned, "Don't you dare. I'll break your fingers if you do and you know I will."

Haruka's fingers barely brushed against her flesh when Michiru suddenly sat up and shoved her into the pool.

She surfaced as quickly as she could, hoping to catch a glimpse. She looked but Michiru had already pulled up her top. Haruka splashed the water in frustration.

_I wanted her badly and I was about to give in._

_That's when she started talking about true love, started talking about sin._

_I said, now honey I'll live with you for the rest of my life._

_She said, no huggy, no kissy, until you make me your wife._

_My honey, my baby, don't put my love on that shelf._

_She said, don't give me no lines and keep your hands to yourself._

"Fine, when do you want your wedding?"

"Well, I've always wanted a spring wedding. And that will give us nearly seven months to plan."

"Fine, spring. Sounds great. Can we have sex now?"

Michiru grinned as she opened her magazine, "No."

"Why?" 

"I told you. No more until the wedding. But, I'll promise you this. On our wedding night, I'll rock your world, Ten'oh Haruka."

"I can't wait."

Michiru lowered her sunglasses and peered at Haruka, "I know. The guest room's all made up, by the way. I've taken the liberty of putting your things in there. Temporarily of course."


End file.
